There are times in our lives where even the "best" are challenged, fall short, and totally mess up. During seasons of healing I have learned to allow myself to process slowly. There is no rush to the finish line. Truly! I do think, so many times, it takes a whole lot longer than I wish to "get through" it and become a person who has healing, freedom, and clarity.
I was listening to a youtuber I really respect today and this statement struck me deeply. Jess Sowards said, "When you portray transparency, but there are guarded places, it sometimes reads as inauthentic." Dang isn't this the truth.
In the last few years I have pulled back from many things. I had fallen short in many areas and have been working on my healing. I am in the process of stepping back into sharing, being engaged, and giving. The season I have been in changed my life in many ways. As I became guarded, to some this was seen as closed and shut off. I agree we are built for community and we should not withdraw from everyone when we are struggling. This is an area I have in the past taken to extremes. Thankfully the Holy Spirit refuses to give up on me even when I run the opposite direction. This time as things got too hard to handle I did not shrink back completely. I listened and sought out those whose names I heard.
In the midst of the healing, Holy Spirit reconnected me with a few who are mighty in the kingdom to walk me through truth and revelation. I have the few who never left my side in the process and for those I am so very thankful. There was no judgment, blame, fear or accusation. There was the sweet reminders of who I am and whose I am. There was encouragement about my future and that it would be greater than my past.
There were also those who became offended by my silence and my not choosing them as counsel during this rocky time. I offered repentance to them directly and an opportunity to speak face to face. I am grateful to have resolved the miscommunication and truth about things that needed to be shared with a few. But unfortunately, there were some who never followed through with the offer. For that I am sad, but trust Him with those relationships.
My suggestion is that when someone is guarded it is most likely not about you. Believe the best about the person. See how you can walk with them rather then judge and form opinions even if you believe your information comes from a credible source. Listen and encourage. Be a healer not a hurter. Many times it takes a moment for someone in battle to lay their weapons down and be willing to sit, listen, explain, and trust again.
Looking your depravity in the face is necessary and vital to staying connected to Jesus. When this happens and truth is revealed many emotions surface, old trauma is highlighted and the beginning of change takes place. Layer after layer peels away and more and more peace comes. It's some of the sweetest moments I have ever had.
Here's to continued growth and transformation my friends and followers.
