Mission Statements:

Sending Flores exists to show the unconditional love of Christ to the world. We serve locally and globally and have a calling to be HIS hands and feet.
Velvet Hearts exists to show the unconditional love of Christ to women and men who work in the sex industry and to renew and reaffirm hope and a future to them.

Monday, December 31, 2018

Death is LIFE

As I look back on 2018, I am in such awe at the hand of the Father in and around the whole thing.  I am amazed at His

love and power

through 2018.  His spirit led me on a path I honestly did not want to take.  During 2017 the most unimaginable things happened in my life, the lives of my friends, and to my family.  It seemed as if total destruction was winning and everything was crumbling around me.  I took it all very personally and my fighter instinct came out to try and make wrongs right and walk people through freedom so they would make healthier choices and not fall apart.  Well that was not working like it had in the past and I was becoming defeated and angry.  I carried around a lot of pain in my heart. For myself, but mainly for the people I saw spiraling out of control.  So much brokenness and so much trauma.   And there was literally nothing I could do.  Believe me I tried.  I had an

encounter with God

that changed everything.  He showed me how I had been carrying this thing and show me how I was never meant to carry it.  He showed me how He had allowed me to see things, but that did not mean I was to try and fix it, mend it, “freedom” it, or anything.  He spoke so clearly and softly as He said “let me have this back.  I am doing something here and I do not need your help.”  It corrected me, convicted me, and lifted from me the heaviest weight I have ever carried.  The elephant got up off me and moved out of my zip code.  I surrendered and repented so much during the next few months as God took things away from me.  Not all of the things were “Bad” things some were really great things, but they were no longer mine.  I opened my doors and He came in and rearranged the furniture.  I was not happy or joyful at this honestly, and threw some fits along the way.  Regardless, I was allowing Him to do it.  I opened the door.  I listened to His voice and (after some complaining I surrendered.)  Shama aqui was my word for the year and it means to hear here.  (See BLOG to learn more) I was learning to pause and listen to the Father right now about the right now.  He became a present Father to me and literally walked with me each day.  I had to have Him to get out of bed.  I had to have Him to lead a ministry.  I had to have Him to search for a new church home.  I had to have Him to be a wife.  I had to have Him to be a mom.  I had to have Him to be a friend.  I just had to have Him for everything, even cooking dinner.  He became my source for everything because I gave up my way.   I gave up. I said I’m done.



If you were close to me this looked very ugly and maybe even like I was in a very bad place.  It probably looked like death and you might have been tempted to run, separate, and move on past me.  That is okay.  I honestly might have done the same thing. The truth is that things on the outside are often times not what they appear.  Sometimes people seem totally fine and then you hear about then killing themselves or killing others. You hear it all the time, they seemed totally fine, I can’t believe they did this or that.  Well the same goes in the opposite direction too.  I only know this because it is where I have been and it is so true.  People who seem like they are withdrawn and sad or angry and bitter may actually be becoming the freest people you will know.  You may look back on some of my blogs and see the innermost feelings of pain as I dealt with things.  You may be able to actually feel the hurt as I released it.  The truth is the moments where it all seemed fine were my hardest days.  The times where I was releasing the pain was my most freeing days.  Needless to say, God was doing a work in me where He was killing off things.  Death is not pretty and it does not smell good.  Death appears for all purposes. like death.  But when God is in charge, death becomes the most beautiful thing after 3 days.  Or 3 months. Or 3 years.  Whatever the season of winter is, just wait.  When it looks like you have been buried and died there will be a spring.  You are buried and growing actually.  The seed has to be buried to grow. There will be growth and there will be a harvest.  It is the natural course for ALL things when God is involved. 



I spoke to one of my mentors along the way and asked her, “why?” about somethings that happened and she said, “Bambi you are changed and the old people do not know what to do or how to respond to this change.”  Was that ever true.  I do not look the same as before my death.  I am different.  I am changed.  I have new places of freedom and new levels of authority.  It comes from a quiet place of security that I have not figured out how to explain yet. 



During 2018 I also walked through some extreme highs which have been so incredible.  My daughter was married, my son began a career, my husband and I moved into a fifth wheel, I found a church home, I made new friends, and my ministry is growing.  This growth is because of the death.  I look back on the death days and they were some of my worst visually but best internally.  They involved great sacrifice and involved me giving up everything I once treasured.  I walk away feeling refreshed and complete.  I was protected and I am secure.  I was comforted on my worst days and lifted high on my best.  My cup truly does overflow now.  It is seeping out and is not containable. 

Thank you, God, for teaching me to surrender. 

Thank you, God, for delivering me. 

Thank you, God, for teaching me. 

You have been so good to me in 2018. 



Psalm 23 A psalm of David


1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Friday, December 7, 2018

Take Courage


I know it has been a minute since I posted.  This is short, but I wanted to document a few thoughts before they are gone.



2017 was a dark year for me.  A time when many things were stripped from me and when I took a breath it was yet another thing or another person leaving. So much was gone. Some through my obedience and some through the enemy stealing and killing. I said goodbye to my church home for the past 9 years. I said goodbye to my physical home for the past 13 years. I said goodbye to many relationships completely and some changed drastically. I spoke to a precious mentor of mine early in 2018 reflecting on all the change and she reminded me because of all the change I am different and I react different. And because of that people who were used to me one way does not know how to take me this new way. Because of that some will walk away and I needed to be okay with that. It is hard but I agreed. I trust those who have held the place of mentor and I know they love and seek Holy Spirit on my behalf. 

2018 has been a year of rebuilding and growth. Most of it has been silent and in a spirit of reflecting. Knowing not a thing lost will not be restored to a better and healthier version of the past. Knowing that God is in charge of my life and a lot of dying to self. My word for the year was Shama which is to hear. I have been listening more than talking. I have allowed things to occur and seen the best and worst in people. I have been more of an observer than ever before. I have set silent on many things and just waiting on the Lord to move and shift things. I have been pleading my case in the courtroom of justice and I know the Lord hears my cries. I have been in a winter season where things have been changing in me under the surface. Shifts have happened in the deep places where God has shaved even more pride and arrogance away. Even more fear is gone and birthed is a trust in Him no matter what happens. I know if I am standing alone, I'm ok. I do not need the praises of men, or the crowds of people to know who I am. I do not have idols in friendships or recognition any longer. If no one sees that is ok because I am obedient to HIM alone. I understand the sadness Jesus felt as he was betrayed and beaten so much more.



I have more courage than I even realized. I am shaking off the dust and becoming a new creation. I do not look the same as the old tree I once was. Some will not recognize me. The truth is my spirit is full and ready. I'm like a racehorse at the start line and I am going to run my race. The work in the soil is complete and he is calling me to shake off the darkness of the changing process and the winter months, when nothing grows or blossoms. I am rising up and embracing HIS springtime so that I might flourish in HIS presence. I am responding to Jesus. Just like a new plant I am fragile but strong. There's a YES in my heart and it carries through eternity. Simple obedience ~~~~ it changes history. Take courage the harvest is ripe.


Take Courage